A long flare

Wow, so I would say month four has been the worst. The first two months were rough because I was not used to TSW.  I wasn't used to life without steroids. I was notably redder.  But this month takes the cake!  My skin just gets worse by the day. Part of me is glad this is happening, need to get this junk out of my system. But the other part of me is dying inside. Just can't believe I look like this. This morning I woke up with hives on my face!  How attractive lol!
Over all I find myself a bit emotionally numb to all this. I want to cry and break down, but it's hard to.  I have had short bursts of tears, but I can tell I have a lot of pent up emotion.  I am having trouble releasing that.  I want to scream, yell, cry. Yet I sit in silence, scratching myself to pieces.

I want to take my eyes off my pain and look to others, encourage others, help others, but the reality of TSW makes it nearly impossible.  The insane itch and burn make you nuts.  Also all the progress I thought I had made up to this point is dissolving in this long flare, so I am not the most cheery. Hopefully I will turn a corner in month five :)

Comments

  1. Take heart Vee, you are not alone! That's what keeps me going. Am in my 14th month. Initially when i stopped using the Steroids, the rash slowly but surely spread. And spread was exactly what it did. It was scary and imagine i hadnt even found the forum then. I had no idea what was happening to my body. I worried i will be completely covered. It took a good 9months for the spreading to continue. Then i started to notice slight improvements.

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    1. Ysho thank you so much for your encouragement. Wow 9 months of spreading huh? That must have been quite scarey without the forum to know its normal! How is your skin doing now?

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  2. After my most recent flare, i have noticed some improvements on my face. Not so much flaking and less itchyness. I measure my improvements by the way i sleep at night. The week of the flare, hadly got any sleep it was a nightmare (pardon the pun). Now am sleeping like a baby, when i scratch it is for a few moments, then i change position and sleep till the morning.

    Are you sleeping well Vee?

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    1. Sleeping for me is a complete write off at the moment. I fall asleep around 3/4 am and wake at about 7/730. I do nap throughout the day. But its like 20 min here and there. Very sporadic! Last night though I fell asleep around 2 which was early and I woke up at 6. I wish I could sleep longer than 4 hours straight. I miss that! The days seem way too long!

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  3. Oh Vee, I feel for you. Month four seems to catch everyone out. The other bad one is month 11 for some weird reason!

    Hold on tight. Things will get better. I am improving every day and SO glad I did this and grateful I found itsan.

    Stay strong my skin friend. Thinking of you. X

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    1. Thanks Louise! I didn't think month four was going to hit me so far! I hope I can skip month 11. Hahaha

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  4. Hi vee.
    We are all on the same boat. U r a few months ahead of me . Just past 1 month for me and things just tend to get worse and worse.
    Are we still no moosturizong buddies? Lol
    Xoxo lisa

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    1. Hey girl! Of course we are still no moisture buddies. But I do cheat on Sundays and Wednesdays because I have to go to church and dry skin on my complexion is not presentable. I cry though when moisture touches my skin. Its a stinking night mare. But it will be over before I know it :)

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  5. Hang in there! Month 4 was very bad for me - just hit month 5 and only today noticed a calming - but that can change. I still have the redness and elephant skin spreading to my still clear areas (those are now few and far between). I have a clearing of my neck today - have had that before and it only lasts 4-5 days before I go back into a flare. I cried so much over the last 3-4 weeks - watching my skin get worse. I of course have had increases in my energy so that was a tradeoff. I know you will get better. And it is healthy to let it out - keeping everything bottled inside must be so hard! Is there anyone's shoulder you can cry on? Quite a few times when I didn't want to bother my husband, I would end up crying out to God while sitting in the tub in pain. It helped me feel closer to Him and it just helped to release that frustration, anger, misery, and so forth. Hand in there!!! It will get better!

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    1. I can't wait to have a clearing of my neck. Right now my neck is the worst part. It hurts to turn my head. It looks awful swollen and inflamed. Argh.

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