How to not care, when you do care!
It always makes me chuckle when people say 'I don't care anyhow'. It makes me chuckle because well... They do care. I have quoted this phrase a number of times. And each time I bellowed these strong words my inside cried 'LIAR'. But there is a way to get to a place where you care less and less. A much needed place to be when going through topical steroid withdrawal.
Growing up I was always lavished with compliments by friends and family on my looks. Although I suffered eczema for the most part TS suppressed it quite well. For every skin ailment my parents were faithful to take me to the doc for a prescription. Even for acne, I was taking tetracycline for my 3 pimples at age 11. Crazy! So my appearance was a big thing. Even from such a young age. Suffice to say TSW has been a real kick to the ego. And it has taught me plenty about the shallow culture I have grown up in and put me on a quest for inner beauty. While all that was fine and dandy my appearance was still killing me.
Every day it is the main focus of my mind. Never mind anything else. It's almost as if I was letting life stop during TSW. Of course I had my good days and have kept chugging along, but in my mind the battle was lost.
That is until yesterday. I briefly posted about it in the ITSAN forum, but wanted to give some I guess tips on How to not care, when you really do! :)
1) Ditch the mirror- at this point the mirror is my enemy. I only look there when I have to go out of the house. I find the less I look at myself the happier I am. I am reminded of who I am, not what I look like
2) Cover up if you can- this can be tough depending on what stage of TSW you are in. But I tend to wear long sleeves, scarves ( even debated gloves lol). This is when i am at home. It helps me forget what my skin really looks like. If you are house bound this is great.
3) Don't think about your skin. Ha! Seems a bit impossible. By this I mean, develop your routine and leave it at that. So if you need to take a bath, exfoliate apply cream then oil, try and be scheduled about it. Make it just a regular part of your day, not ' your day'. I find I was making a huge deal about caring for my skin, such focus would go into getting the bath the right temperature. Just my mind set was so focused on skin. So when you are dealing with you skin think of it as a step of your day. While you're showering think about what you are about to do next. Not skin related.
4. Go out and be liberated. Show of your redness with pride. I have tried hiding my skin when I go out only to have someone notice and make me feel more awful because I was attempting to hide it. Here in Canada it's summer. I was wearing all long sleeve shirts outdoors... No more. I find if I just let my bad skin show I feel better. It is what it is... And I am rocking it. Yes sometimes you get the odd look but it doesn't hurt because you aren't insecure about it.
Anyhow. That's my two cents! TSW really is teaching me so much! What a blessing!
Below are some before and after Pics of my lips. Over the weekend TSW spread to my lips! So cute! I couldn't even believe it. I have never had it on my lips... Not in my entire life. Ah well with some Vaseline and patience it cleared a bit :)
Took me like 10 shots to get the after photo. Uggh lighting makes these things hard. Anyhow it's not a crusty mess anymore :). But all around my lip are is discolored and flaky. What can you do! I do have an awesome concealer that helps me when I go out. It can look a bit caky over these spots but it is still an improvement :)
Thank God for MAC cosmetics... They get me through lol all the discoloration!