Finding Joy through TSW

So it's saturday.  Such a turn around from last week skin wise! I was mid flare last saturday!  Endured a seriously hellish night, and things calmed down sunday and have been better since.  Although today I woke up with some slight eye eczema, but my face is soooooo soft.  I think my bed sheets give me irritations!  Anyhow my skin has been relatively stable.  My arms continue to be my main problem and my neck on and off.  I find it strange that my arms are such a problem and I didn't even use a lot of steroid there.  The places that I used steroids the most(hands) are healing the most.  Strange!

Anyhow one of the hardest things through TSW is to be happy.  I find one day I am up the other I am down.  Lately I have felt a bit bi-polar even.  But last week I had a really rough time.  Saturday night I was just a mess. Burning, oozing, crying, miserable.  I thought to myself, I really can't keep living like this?  I felt so alone and desperate.  Being a christian of course I prayed and cried out to God.  I just felt like I had come to a dead end.  The next morning I would have church.  Sunday is my favourite day of the week.  I love going to church, I love playing piano and seeing my church family.  But with the way my skin was going it seemed like that wasn't going to be possible.  The one thing I loved dearly I wasn't "up" to doing.  It was about 4 in the morning, all was quiet, everyone was off soundly asleep.  I started to be depressed at the thought of staying home another day and out of no where I said NO!  Rather abruptly in my mind and then out loud. (TSW will cause you to talk to yourself)  I said NO to the suffering.  I said NO to TSW taking one more day from my life.  I determined no matter what I looked like, no matter how I felt I was going to force myself to do what I like to do.  Immediately I fell asleep.  I jumped out of bed that morning, not really feeling better, but not worse either.  I struggled in the shower as the water burned my skin.  I put on my clothes and got my hair all "did".  I didn't feel like going anywhere, but something in me knew I had to push through.


I got to church, and sat at my beloved piano bench.  I wanted to cry. A joy and peace just flooded over me.  I began to pray for my skin and was able to play for church service.  My skin actually didn't bother me all day.  I had a joy, that wasn't from circumstances.  It was inner joy.  I really believe anyone going through TSW needs to cultivate that in their life.  You need to fill your life with things you enjoy doing, and gain dominion over your mind and body.  Although  there will be down days and times you really can't do much, don't get sucked into this negative mentality.  I know I was starting to get like that.  The body heals much better when we are happy!  So continue to do things that make you happy!

(to the left)Here I am a week later, my eye eczema was acting up this morning, my arms are still pretty bumpy, but hey life could be worse!  In this photo I feel like its hard to even tell I suffer from eczema, I believe its because of the joy radiating from my face!  :)  What brings you joy?


Comments

  1. You are a beautiful soul inside and out! And I agree as a fellow Christian - boy oh boy this TSW is a mixed blessing because it sure got me closer to God. Crying to him, begging him, pleading with him, etc. Trying to find comfort in God's word to take my mind off the itching! There is always something to be thankful for, something to be joyful about... and I think that's what has helped me to stay mostly sane and optimistic through TSW (also while dealing with a divorce I didn't want at the same time!). You have the perfect attitude to kick TSW's butt and help encourage others! Great post!

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    1. Thanks so much! I am glad you too are able to find joy through your TSW! Especially going through a divorce! That must be so very difficult! :( You keep fighting the good fight love! :)

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  2. You have an amazing attitude and are very inspiring! I also find myself having to give "pep talks" out loud. It's a good thing my husband knows I'm not a crazy person! You look TOTALLY normal and BEAUTIFUL in this picture!

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    1. THis is Katy from The Open Door, by the way. For some reason I have no idea how to sign on via wordpress in blogger.
      http://kccd.wordpress.com

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    2. Thanks Katy!
      I can't live without the prep talk. Lately I haven't felt so positive. But holding on! Thanks for stopping by :)

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    1. Thanks Gaybreal! So happy to have you stop by:)

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  4. So needed this! Today marks my 2nd week and some days I'm joyful other days so depressed and ask God why?? Would love to correspond via email for encouragement if you have the time!

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