Coming out of a Flare

Alright so I am about 3 months in to my TSW(topical steroid withdrawal).
And to be frank, its hasn't been all bad, but the flares are a BEAST!  It is absolutely amazing, how the skin can be calm and peaceful one day and absolutely HAY-WIRE the next.  My latest flare started thursday evening.  I had attempted some "sun".(not sure if that triggered it). I began to feel very tingly and stiff.  Then I decided to try "not using moisturizer" for a day!  Please don't try this at the start of a flare.  Friday & Saturday were absolute hell for me!  At 4 am Saturday night I told my hubby that if this is what hell feels like, you certainly don't want to go there! LOL

My entire body was burning in a wa I had never experienced.  I wanted to yell and scream but couldn't because  I didn't want to wake my kids up.  One of the worse experiences of a flare for me apart from the burning is insomnia.  I envied my husbands sweet sleep.  And there is a reason people sleep at those hours.  I found myself having the strangest most depressing thoughts on my sleepless nights.

I finally went down staires and paced my living room as I "prayed".  Was more of a complaining session really.  Then I caught myself and thought well I could be sick with a life threatening desease.  And then I lost myself and thought, "well I would rather that, at least I knew I would be dying soon!".

I had no clue what TSW could bring you too.  I was angry and bitter with doctors and my parents for letting me use this poison for all these years.  I never once was told not to use it for more than two weeks.  My doctor would say when the symptoms are gone, stop using it.  The problem was the symptoms rarely were gone, so I needed continued use! Baahh!

Anyhow I mustered up the strength to go to church sunday  morning!  Really didn't want to.  But I am so glad I did.  I told myself this desease will not have dominion over me.  That attitude got me through the day.  But also I was coming out of my flare.  What a peaceful feeling to come out of a flare.  Each time I come out I have faith I one day will be healed!

Today I spent outdoors watching a ruby game.  I was in the sun for 3 hours.  Yikes....I hope that won't bring on another flare! -__-

How is everyone else's TSW going?  Would love to hear


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